Bonjour tout le monde ..

I like speaking and writing in french. Everything is better in french. More beautiful. Beauty is important to me. Other things important to me are films, music, food, people, philosophy, my studies in photography and sociology, creativity, travel, fashion, being healthy, being remembered, making a difference and enjoying life. I feel as though we have entered an era with no purpose or difference. Are we to blame for the lack of originality, the borrowing of fashion and music from past decades with the empty promise that the end will justify the means and eventually our lendings will result in the creation, through collaboration, of our own identity? When we don't know who we are collectively and don't embrace the idea of collectivity, how can we ever claim self assurance? I lost myself in someone else once.. And i said goodbye to that someone else in order to find myself again. Two years have passed and I'm more lost now than I ever was. My only revelation since has been that I was never lost with that someone else. I hadn't lost a part of myself, i'd just found a part of him. And vice versa. Maybe the part of me I thought I'd lost was the part of me he found. Either way, I began a journey to find something.. Maybe this blog will serve as a map.
There’s man, woman, and Cole Mohr 🙌

There’s man, woman, and Cole Mohr 🙌

I’m not angry at you.. I’m just angry that we’ve fucked this shit up. How can you explain the immense love that you have for someone when the hatred now runs as deep? No matter how hard we try, I’m no longer yours, just as you’re not mine. We’ve grown a distance between us as wide-reaching as that which we loathed when we loved, thousands of miles apart. Goodbye my sweet old friend, may these words give me the strength to let you go.

To love.. And it’s infinite, heart-breaking possibilities..

You gave me pride, you taught me reason.  You saw me through the eyes of a dumbstruck, smitten on-looker, teetering on the edge of danger and the unknown; flirting with the possibility of a long, volatile future.  My carelessness and shallow acceptance of your unconditional desire saw me hurt you in ways I’m now being hurt myself.  I cruelly rejected you, the man I loved most.  The man I never really loved at all.  I abused you.  I violated you.  And what remains is a few uncertain, lonely tears and memories that I’m ashamed to own.  We lived unstably in an exhilarating bubble.  We lived with an eminent, lingering deadline, the reason behind our intense and oppressive treatment of one another.  I’ve learnt to love again, but I’ve missed a few lessons.  We fucked up, and some wounds never heal.  Forgive me.  

my Napoleon, the dictator.  a shot from my adventures in slide film.  Reminds me of George Orwell’s Animal Farm.

my Napoleon, the dictator.  a shot from my adventures in slide film.  Reminds me of George Orwell’s Animal Farm.

the penultimate tune for nostalgia.  brings tears to my eyes.  ”breathe out, so i can breathe you in, hold you in.” takes me to a time i barely remember.  i don’t remember.  but dave grohl’s genuine, wounded emotion takes me there.

Missing Children

—Home Songs - Once Were in Bloom

I’m not ready for this, you see.